There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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