butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize