ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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