i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize