you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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