now i know why i became what i already was.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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