The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
