Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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