Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
