I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize