____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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