I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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