its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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