Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
