p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
