I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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