Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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