do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
