if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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