i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
