I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
