someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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