I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i need some magic done to my vagina
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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