The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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