I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
