Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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