addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize