how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
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