My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
