Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
