hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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