I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
