i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
