You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize