She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
