So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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