I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
