My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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