I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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