Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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