I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
