I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
