She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
