My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Congratulations! We have a period
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