Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i barfeds in our rink
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
