is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
