no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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