The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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