i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
