we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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