you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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