I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
