just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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