Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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