Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
