dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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