I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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