I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
