Taylor Swift is so right about you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
