i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
