hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
