But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
