I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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