ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
