you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
