Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless