It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
