1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
