i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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