We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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