Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
