Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
