she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
