id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
