she was so not down for the gang bang
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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