you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she peed on how many people?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'd cum for enchiladas.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
